Web Log Entries 2

Friday January 28th, 2011  -  'Fond Farewells'  

Sitting down to write this latest entry, I do so with a mixture of emotions that swirl around inside me; from delight at putting on my best party so far (and the best party the host said he'd ever had after 26 years of doing them there) to a great deal of sadness, as two days ago the old Gothic mansion, my second home in some respects, was vacated and boarded up, sold and now awaits a huge restoration project to restore it to its former glory. Saphyra has also removed her profile in Adultwork and I believe has officially retired from the business as Alexa Andreas, so I wish her well, though I'd have loved to have re-booked her again at some future point as she was easy to work with and lots of fun, and put no restraints on me as to what she would or wouldn't do, or how many were allowed to attend.
 
I can now look back upon 12 years of memories there, the many orgies and swinger nights he held and the funny stories, but it all started for me with a midsummer gangbang (oops, wrote midsomer! There would have been a murder in one of the rooms, or a body in the dungeon if that were the case!). I can still remember his telephone call now! 'Hello!', the voice boomed down the line at me. 'I am calling to invite you along to a gangbang party at my Gothic castle!' I think normally, one would be highly suspicious of this sort of cold call from a stranger and not likely to take it too seriously, but being 11 years younger then, rather naive after not having had 10 years of idiotic timewasters online, and probably a bit gullible, I agreed to be given directions to the place in the Kent countryside and set off for the agreed rendezvous. It was late afternoon one hot June day and my first impressions of the place when I arrived (before the ivy got going and covered over much of the outsides and climbed in through the quatrefoil windows!) was 'WOW! Where the hell have I just come to?!' (Those who went, know just what I mean!). I had taken along in the car, a folding holistic treatment couch, as it seemed to me entirely appropriate that it could also double up as a mobile bed. Trouble was, it was also extremely heavy, and though it did collapse (not during the gangbang I hasten to add!) it was 3 feet wide and 6 feet long! Surprisingly, my idea of using this as the main prop for the party was taken seriously, (considering he didn't know me either!) but then it was a matter of actually getting it into the building and then trying to haul it up the never ending stone spiral staircase that just went on and on and ON! I thought I'd reached the top (when in reality I was only two thirds up to the highest point!), when I was told to stop and push the couch through the wall ahead of me! Embedded into the turret wall was a small wooden latch door and amazingly it actually JUST fitted through, opening onto the top of one of the other castle turrets. Here, on this roof the couch was opened up and the party guys climbed through behind me, drinks in hand, followed by the giggling girl and our host, and we were set to go! Complete with crenellations, (the distinctive battlement architecture atop the parapet), meant that for half the time, you exposed yourself to anyone looking, as you walked across the gap, suddenly airing your privates and giving a good flash to all below! I wondered at the time if this would have been sufficient to keep away attacking armies in days gone by, rather than resorting to the violence of guns or the crossbow, especially if combined with watersports for good measure! If castles had arranged bare-breasted ladies to stand there and wave, I doubt many men would have fired upon them, though I can imagine it would not have put them off wanting to invade still! An alternative history would then have been handed down which would have seen less bloodshed and more fucking, and castles would have had to compete on which ladies had the best bare breasts as defence! So, it made one a bit self conscious, to be exposed like this, but thankfully most people don't look up, and certainly not expecting to see 12 naked people cavorting about on the roof of a historic house one June evening, clutching glasses of wine! Watersports did take place and she was more than happy to be cooled off in this way as it was a hot summer evening and as the sun set on what was a magnificent vista from such a high vantage point, a beautiful golden glow bathed the Kent countryside for miles around and the woman, bathed in cum and her own golden showers, was just as radiant and happy. A day never to forget, and perverse as I'm sure it must appear to the moralists, as she was not married to all 11 of us (though hubby was there), it was a peaceful, fun and friendly gathering which set me thinking. It was from this evening that the seeds for my own project many years later were sown! Little did I know then, that I would have a website and end up being the ringmaster of the UK Gangbang Club which started 10 years later at the same location, but downstairs in the dungeon, rather than outside on the ramparts!
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Tuesday July 13th, 2010
   -   'Goodbye PO Box'
 
Taking money at the door for the parties doesn't usually work (sadly because so many people just don't feel they have any obligation to attend and don't appreciate the work done behind the scenes), so I started using a PO Box which I set up in July 2009. Now that I have been doing the parties this way for a year, and it has come time to renew the annual fee asked for by the Royal Mail, I have decided not to continue with it. It is as much their fault as our changing times, but hiking up the price from £62 to £95 in 12 months without offering me a better service (now £170/April 2011!) and with two strikes in the middle of it last Autumn, which caused chaos not just to me but many small businesses, I have decided not to renew. Just as those other companies decided to change to couriers!

In future I shall just use bank transfers, thereby eliminating my pointless drives to the sorting office to stand in a 15 minute queue only to find there's nothing there, and your writing cheques and me cashing them, plus you will save money on postage and recorded delivery fees. With so many dishonest postmen, its actually in the Royal Mail's interest that there are, so that you have to use Recorded/Special Delivery and spend more money with them!

Not everyone has a computer of course and banking online may be alien to some of you reading this, but based on the fact that these parties run on email and computers, its just a small step to make. I will explain what you need to do if you aren't sure. I did not realise myself how easy it was last year, but my hand was forced by those aforementioned strikes and I've come to like it. There are no extra fees for you (so far its free to bank this way) and the money is safe. It goes from your account to mine, is traceable and no on else gets their hands on it. Its also a good way for me to refund people if the party is cancelled. They are wanting to do away with cheques, so the time will come when that option was going to disappear anyway, and cash isn't safe loose in the mail.

I realise that there's probably a bit of caution if you are not used to online banking, but I do not see your details. In fact, not being able to identify who you are, is the biggest problem, especially if you use a false name with me. I need to be able to identify that i.e. Joe Bloggs with me, is John Thomas with the bank, in order to be able to recognise that I know you, and put you down on the guest list as having paid.


I have a copy and paste email to send to people to explain how to pay this way, and it is fairly straightforward and easy, as you can do it from home.

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Wednesday June 9th, 2010   -   'The Saga of Niki No-show'  (Or, May's party that wasn't).

I may have been doing these for a year, and I may have got the nuts and bolts of the club well screwed down (PO Box, bank account purely for the parties, this website, a largish database/mailing list, quirky venue) but securing girls and making sure they also turn up on the day is still the weak link in the set up. I have had a think about how to avoid the situation we had in May, whereby we're all standing about waiting for a girl to show up, who has no intention of doing so, and is under no obligation either, except one based on trust. They ought to pay ME a deposit they claim back, but can you see any escort ever agreeing to that?! However, I hope to be able to attract the girls from the London agencies who are more reliable and very attractive, though expensive.

Niki was being brought by her driver, an hour before the party was due to start, which meant I had no more idea that she was not coming, than you guys did. Some of the escorts from the agencies use a driver, but I will now say that I drive her, as I'm going there anyway. If they do not trust me enough to get into my car, I don't trust them to turn up. If I meet them on the day of the party at 2 p.m. at the tube station near me, I know whether they are coming or not. I will try to book only London girls (if I can), which means they don't have too far to travel to reach me. A 'no show' means I have enough time to text everyone on the guest list, or call you up, to say that she has not appeared. I will therefore need your phone numbers. If she does not show, I will come back to my computer and update this website to say she has not arrived. If you do not see an update during the afternoon of the party, it means I am driving her down there and the update will remain static at around mid-day on the party day. I think this will work out better as I cannot have you guys driving across the countryside, only to have to turn around and go home again. Its a waste of time, petrol and a good Saturday night and that's not acceptable to me, so I have to minimise this. It was also a waste of 3 weeks work for me and an entire weekend as I stayed the night there and then had the job of packing up, the next day.

The weekend for me was not totally wasted as the club's photographer came along and took some excellent photographs of the venue which I will be able to display on the website. I also had the idea of taking some tools down there and clearing away some of the ivy, nettles, brambles, weeds and saplings that surround the mansion, perhaps creating a beer garden that we can sit out in and maybe have a BBQ at some point. There's a good table and chairs I can see hidden under the overgrowth, so an electric sander might do wonders for that!
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Thursday May 6th, 2010
   -   'Pumpkin's Progress'

Normally the extent of my horticultural expertise consists of wandering around my patio, squirting weeds with a hand held red plastic weed gun, and then sitting back with great admiration and watching them shrivel and die from the comfort of my sofa, feeling pleased with myself that I've, 'done the garden'. Beyond the patio, is just the fence, as the previous people seemingly weren't sure about plants either, and this is the entire limit of my plot of land. I should have acquired many more skills than this as I grew up in a garden where almost everything there is to grow, grew, in the quarter acre plot, (bar coconuts and bananas) with 2 greenhouses and multiple veg and flower beds. The original 'Good Life' duo my folks, it is totally organic, with 3 compost heaps, lawns, pond, orchard and a fruit cage, so as I have no garden, the trial takes place at their smallholding.

The pumpkin seeds I started to germinate a few weeks back, that were saved from those fruits last halloween, rotted, so I tried again with the remainder, and got three more germinated. And I've not killed them yet! lol. Mother nature may have a design fault as some of the seed cases needed cutting off as they sprouted, or else they're strangled, though perhaps if left to rot in their natural state inside the fruit, enzymes may disolve the hard outer shell during the winter, ready for the spring. Quick growers, they've got good roots already and leaves! I have 9 plants. 3 seeds saved from the large pumpkin at the castle door, 3 smaller sorts from a packet from a garden centre near me, and 3 seeds of 'hundredweight', a jumbo old English variety of pumpkin which I couldn't resist buying, after showing a whopper on the cover of the seed packet at a different garden centre lol. Never let it be said I do things by halves! Bank holiday weekend saw me engaged in 'potting on' as some have already outgrown their containers. Why they can't just go into a big pot straightaway instead of a medium one, baffles me. They surely can't know what size pot they're in, was my argument! Its like they're frightened of the depth of soil or something? lol They appear to need a lot of room, compost and sunshine. Fingers crossed for a decent summer!
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Monday April 19th, 2010   -   'Twittery things'

Wow, isn't it quiet without any aeroplanes since the volcano with the long name blew its top! Living near to Heathrow, I can clearly hear all our little feathered friends in my garden : ) Now for the demise of the horseless carriage and I'll have to get out the top hat and cane again.

With so many of the political parties having the word 'change' in their slogans, I wonder why none of them have used, 'Spare Any Change?'. They would be seen as being honest for once, and it highlights their future fiscal projections. What we usually get from them is little change as they try to get their hands on our small change!

Well, we've now had Labour, the Conservatives and the Lib Dems on TV answering controlled questions from an audience prevented from heckling and jeering (they didn't say anything about not throwing shoes or rotten tomatoes I bet lol) so now it should be the turn of UKIP, dare I say it the BNP and the Raving Loony Party this week?! I doubt much sense would be spoken, but hey, wouldn't it make great telly! We live in a democracy, so they should have their say I feel. It would get the disinterested talking about politics if nothing else!

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Wednesday April 14th, 2010   -   'Pumpkin patch'

Last Halloween, it took me ages to source some jumbo sized pumpkins and eventually I tracked some down and drove to a greenhouse near me where they had them inside - along with a jumbo price too! Not sure if they need a lot of looking after and nurturing, but the big ones were from £20 to £40! (editor - up to £60 for monsters in Oct.2011!). They were also almost impossible to lift lol. So, last autumn as I hollowed out the pumpkins, I saved some seeds from the biggest one that I bought (at £25). I've now put them into a jam jar with a tiny amount of water, and have germinated them! I have no garden, but my folks do, so they're getting a pumpkin patch this year along with all the other things they grow. Haven't a clue what you do with them yet, but Google to the rescue and I'll feed them on waste fish water from their Koi pond filter. Yummy stuff to most plants, or else they grow to get away from the smell! Planning for Halloween already, 7 months away!
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Sunday April 4th, 2010   -   'An Easter message'

I have now been sent a CD of photos from our last party with Danni (the first recording of these parties), thanks to the official photographer (a club member), via my PO Box. Eyes shaded, re-sized and now posted up in my gallery, here they are for all the doubting Thomas'! : ) I am a little fearful of giving away identities and of receiving emails saying, 'someone at work thinks that is me without my clothes on' lol, so I have done my best to hide faces. Carrying on that train of thought (anonymity), we always want what we can't have, or strive for something just out of reach, right? A sports car, supermodel wife, second home in the south of France or even perfect health, and I remember reading that the one thing Prince Charles said he wanted, and cannot have, along with many music, sports and film stars, is anonymity. I wanted to be a famous rock drummer when I was younger, but things happened and my dreams came to nought after being crippled by a long and incurable illness. But I am now able to pursue this minor side interest without too much interest from the papers as I am unknown. Today's obsession with celebrity, doesn't focus on the many down sides, so those of you who may feel your life has gone nowhere, just remember that if you were famous, you just couldn't attend something like this! Leading an ordinary life is often a bonus. How many inventors have been ripped off, cheated by a company, had their patent stolen or sat on/changed. It rarely pays to be ahead of your time, your arguments or theories usually only appreciated after you have passed away. And yesterday I was reading in my paper about a Lottery winner who managed to get through his £9 million winnings, in a spending spree where he ended up an alcoholic, ripped off by 'financial advisors', divorced and ruined, saying that the lottery win was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. He said that shortly before dying of a heart attack due to the stress and was flat broke. I think the moral of the story here, as we're all single guys often struggling in many ways, is just to appreciate what we do have and be thankful. And if you have your health, you have it all. Money can't buy it, any more than it can buy friends, love, happiness, time or experience.
A lyric from the Rush song, 'Mission' springs to mind regarding the above.

It's cold comfort
To the ones without it
To know how they struggled
How they suffered about it
If their lives were exotic and strange
They would likely have gladly exchanged them
For something a little more plain
Maybe something a little more sane.

A little like the proverbial swan, not much appears to happen on the surface, but there's quite a bit of activity below the water line and I intend to keep these parties going for quite some time yet, though not necessarily as regularly as I, or you would like. But I will keep them alive. One new venue mooted, is a boat, moored, rather than having to take sea sick pills to reach it at least lol, so when this old house is finally taken away for restoration and denied us its use, I hope to have another quirky venue up my sleeve. In the meantime, with that eventuality more a certainty than a probability, I would ask all of you reading this, to put out feelers when you go to swingers clubs and parties, to see if there is someone sympathetic towards hosting these gentlemen's gangbang parties. A country house is ideal. Out of the way, large, with car parking and scope for BBQ's in the summer and a bonfire and fireworks in the winter. I could write to the National Trust I suppose, but I'm not sure they'd be up for that lol.

I first had the idea of these parties, at this location almost 10 years ago, but all came to nothing, (apart from buying some props, now at last in use). Ideas and inventions take shape usually from other influences, from books, films, sometimes even from a dream or sometimes from a moment's inspiration (usually in the shower I find, when I don't have a pen!) or, in this case, from reading erotica or watching other people's homemade amateur gangbangs online. The French ones are often quite good, or the first big U.S. gangbangs produced by Anabolic in the 90's which were groundbreaking at the time (Anabolic's Gangbang Girl series made approximately 38 of them), and are still a good industry benchmark for how to shoot a studio gangbang. They are good examples of the genre if you find them in 'VOD' online. So around a year ago, I set about trying to resurrect the idea again of some parties, and returned to the seed that failed to germinate back in 2000, due to timewasters and logistical problems then. With careful planning and thought, plus the huge benefits of the internet and emails, copy and paste, mobile phones, texting and online banking, it is now much easier to assemble the ingredients for a good party. These technological tools have changed the landscape and made it possible to do, comparatively speaking. Word of mouth and reputation take longer to build. Staggering along that rocky path, trying to keep everything onboard a rickety wagon, has been fraught with obstacles, the wheels coming off totally around November of last year. But I sat down at the metaphorical roadside, examined what was failing and am pleased to say that the March 2010 party was the most successful to date. Again with an amateur girl who had never done a gangbang before, Danni loved it so much she wants twice the number of men next time, and couldn't believe how much fun it was and how easy the night was! This is my main problem with finding women for us. They just can't get it into their heads, or the heads of their Escort Agency bosses, that they are not going to be at the mercy of dozens of crazed, drunken, drooling loons who are going to fuck them till their tits fall off lol. I just hope the website will allay the fears of the Escort Agencies, if/when I have the patience to return to them later this year. Those women are red hot, but highly skittish about joining us.

For those who didn't make it, I changed the party room to the dungeon this time, rather than the White Room, which is quite a trek up and down all the stairs, and there aren't Sherpas on hand for the many climbs required when you're the organiser! The dungeon didn't bode well as a room, as the last time I was there on November 1st, the day after the Halloween party, it was cold, damp and blowing a gale outside, and not very different inside!! I woke up in The Blue Room to a filthy day, the wind was howling round the building (a deafening noise being squeezed through cracks in the glass), and water was trickling in through the brickwork in that bedrooom, and when I went downstairs to pack my trunk, the dungeon hadn't fared much better. The walls were damp and the double skin construction of the room had the draught drapes flapping around like ghosts when I opened the air locks. But I'm pleased to say that this party, with a bit of heating, some orange light bulbs, my church candles and wall candles, the dungeon was toasty and warm. There's nothing worse than blue cocks and popsy shivering with stiff nips lol. I did discover though that I cannot take phone calls in there. True to form of the eccentric nature of the place, the room is entered and exited by ex police cell prison doors. Mobile phone reception (through a double brick skin with an 8 foot gap in between and steel doors), means that if you are trying to call me on party day and I'm in there setting up, I probably won't get a signal. I actually spent the night in the dungeon once the party was over, and whilst I've known there are no ghosts, I wasn't sure about creepy crawlies! There weren't any thankfully, but after a night in there, my mobile phone was 12 hours adrift and saying the previous date! It later corrected the time and date without my intervention, some time during the morning once I was out in the sunshine, outside the place. Very odd, like a time portal lol. I can just see the owner as Dr Who, time travelling in his bathtub lol (an in joke for those in the know ; )
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Wednesday March 3rd, 2010   -   Fun abroad

Having had the Winter Olympics now, and the rather unsporting slogan adopted by the Canadians, 'Own the Podium', I wonder if the slogan for the 2010 Commonwealth Games in October, to be held in Delhi, ought not to be, 'Own the Imodium' on account of half our athletes going down with 'Delhi Belly' at some point! lol. I can just see the headlines now, 'Britain's athletes get the runs!' It doubles for cricket too lol

And this from a book I received at Christmas called, 'Lost in Translation', it records many of our foreign friends best attempts at English, seen on signs around the world.
Seen in a hotel in Finland, 'If you cannot reach a fire exit, close the door and expose yourself at the window'. It would certainly attract attention!
And in a hotel in Japan, 'You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid'.
In an Indonesian travel brochure, 'If we are lucky we will see duck boys home, men massaging their cocks on the road, cow boys taking grass. Yes, it is a wonderful experience'. I couldn't resist that package holiday lol.
And finally, this from a hotel in Tel Aviv, Israel. 'If you wish breakfast, lift the telephone and our waitress will arrive. This will be enough to bring up your food.' Ah indeed, the joys of travel!


See you on Saturday for fun with Danni!